He knows our living arrangements now but for the first fifteen years we were brother and sister to him"I didn't know what to say and I didn't know if I was expected to say anything. Evidently Ida wasn't expecting a reply because she continued.Ida began, "On my tenth birthday I received a new dress, a store bought dress, the first I ever had. The tag was marked "irregular" and it had several prices marked through, the final was a dollar. But to me it was the prettiest dress ever made. It made no difference what it cost. I was so happy and pranced around for hours, but just before bedtime dad had grabbed me and pulled me to him, pointing out to mom how my nipples made points in the dress. In my attempts to get away the dress tore, the seam in the side. I cried and when I was dressed for bed I showed mom the torn dress and she tossed it in a corner, making me go to bed."Ida had tears in her eyes as she continued, "When I woke the next morning the dress was spread out over the foot of my. .. just let me say a few things.Can you promise to tell Bernard what I'm about to say?"It was shocking to see my father like this. It was still recognisablyhim, but gone was the image he presented to the world. Gone was thebitterness and hatred of the world. He just appeared weak, like a huskof a man, and it seemed strikingly evident that he was carrying a greatamount of shame and guilt. I had never seen a person in such a sorrystate. I pitied him, even though I felt as if I shouldn't. It wasactually sad seeing him like this."Depends entirely on what you're about to say," Mary said. "He isn'texactly interested in hearing a thing from you. And neither am I." I know..." my father said. "I haven't exactly been all that good tohim. I know, and... Well, frankly I know that I've been a total piece ofshit. And I know that I don't deserve forgiveness."Mary simply stared at him. I was surprised that she managed to stay socold and uninviting, even as my father was crumbling into pieces.
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